9.17.2013

...are you suffering from "Phalangodiarrhea"?

In recent times, it has become alarmingly glaring that many young people experience an acute medical condition called  "phalangodiarrhea" at least once in their life time. This condition which is non-communicable has gradually become an epidemic. Symptoms are commonly manifest in the contents which patients upload/update on various social media channels like Twitter and Facebook - uninformed, derogatory and discriminatory write-ups are but a few of those predominately observed in patients diagnosed.


 I was oblivious to the existence of this condition until I read through trending Tweets relating to the recently crowned Miss America. A stunningly beautiful lady of Indian descent. Now, a question pops to mind...why would any sensible person have a problem with this? Is it not common knowledge that America is meant to be the "New World"? There are 5 (well, academically 7) continents in the world, made up of multiple races and species of living things, if America is truly the "New World", would that not mean that all the different races and species of the "World" would be found there?

Despite how easy it would be to dive into a lecture on the history of the Americas and chronologically trace how the territory that is now the United States of America transitioned into its present state, I realize that there would not be enough time or point in digressing completely. But then, maybe I should digress a bit, because patients of "phalangodiarrhea" are known to be ignorant of most topics that border even the slightest bit on being intellectual or/and historical, instead I linked a Wikipedia article on the history of America.

The summary is simple, first there were the Native Americans also known as Red Indians, then came the "exploratory" Spanish, then the Dutch, then the French, afterwards the colonial British (together with a bunch of many other European immigrants) pushing further into the lands and acquiring territories.There was the revolution, many wars to remove affiliation to the British crown...becoming a confederation, then the Civil war, the reconstruction and eventually unification (sometimes purchase or trade) of all the various states (which had populations of diversified races) into the presently invincible Nation....wooosh! 

Stopping there because this post is not about American History, be proactive and search for information, Google - get a clearer picture, your rose tinted glasses are so -1 BC! Bear in mind that if you want to justify acting like your grandfather was Abraham Lincoln, make sure not to insult his legacy by exhibiting characteristics of half-baked street urchins. Before posting remarks on who can or cannot lay claim to America, browse through that very important document called your Constitution, it would help! And while you are at it, also find an "Anthropology for Dummies" lesson on the Middle-East, Asia and North Africa.

The bright light at the end of the tunnel; there is a cure for "phalangodiarrhea"!!! Its called the SRTBYP therapy, recommended by the best physicians out there - the "STOP, RESEARCH OR THINK BEFORE YOU POST" therapy has been proven to cure even the most chronic case of this disease.

100mg of Thinkololine
500mg of Googlcstrym
1 glass of Followthecrowd-Free Juice

Et voila! You are cured! Just remember to do this each time you are confronted with any topic you do not have sufficient knowledge about, especially if your comment about that topic could breed negative sentiments like hurt, hate or discrimination. It has been unfortunately observed that some patients experience relapse. Last but not the least, be kind enough to share your healing medication with other unfortunate victims of "phalangodiarrhea" you come in contact with on your road to recovery.

3 commentaires:

  1. Thinkololine! I'll remember that:-)
    This article can feature in the British Medical Journal seamlessly, I'm sure. Nice!

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  2. Dumb and Dumber should come to TV...reality TV for that matter.

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